I can't believe it's been three months since I posted here. It's amazing how time flies and that within the next 72 hours my baby will turn 1. I have thought about different things that I could write about over the last three months and of couse when I think about these things and blog in my mind, they never get "onto paper" and get posted here. So, here are some random thoughts:
Leyla and Hannah are so unbelievably different, which is a great thing of course - who would want kids that are exactly the same?! Leyla came out with blond peach fuzz on the top of her head and Hannah came out with a whole bunch of dark brown hair! Leyla didn't get to attempt to latch until 12 hours after she was born and with a tongue issue that she had, she never did latch correctly and I was too overwhelmed by the "crazy lactation consultants" that I didn't even attempt going to the support group and so after 4 weeks of pumped milk being put into bottles, my supply ran out. This time around Mahir and I were determined to have the baby latch successfully. Many don't know that Hannah swallowed a large amount of fluid coming out and turned blue several times according to Mahir (I was of course laying on a table with a sheet covering my view of everything - which probably was a good thing!) and I didn't actually get to see my baby for the first time until I was being pushed out of the OR. Thankfully she was OK and able to join me in recovery and latched successfully almost immediately. AND she hasn't stopped! Sure, we had our ups and downs, but thanks to the lactation consultants and daily support group, we've made it - 72 hours from now I get to celebrate the amazing journey Hannah and I took this year. I have to say I have felt guilty along the way because I never got to do this with Leyla BUT then I remember that Leyla had my undivided attention for 2 years before her sister arrived and so this was something I could do with just Hannah. I'm pretty darn proud of Hannah and I and also for the support of my family and friends, which was essential.
Do you remember what it was like to be sick before kids? Pretty awesome, right? You get up, feel like a bus rolled over you, and you're able to lay on the couch, watch TV, sleep, etc. NOT SO when you have kids - you have no choice but to get up and keep going. About a month ago I stayed home sick and not only was I home but so were the girls and although Mom was fabulous, I still had the responsibility of taking care of them, even though I felt horrid! And, as luck would have it, the girls napped separately no matter how hard I tried to put them down together so I could get a nap. BUT I wouldn't go back to being childless for ANYTHING.
I will miss all of this 5 years from now - hell, I'll miss this 1 year from now. I may have my body back at that point but I will miss middle of the night nursing sessions, which are the most amazing things I think I have ever experienced. It is amazing to be needed as much as I have been this year. I know as the years go on the girls will not need me the way they do now so I'm going to enjoy every second they do need me.
And hopefully it won't be 3 more months til my next blog!
