Staycation...

I am just finishing an amazing staycation just me and the girls (and Mahir when he wasn't at work).  It was wonderful and I hate to not be able to be with them more.  Grammy and Grampy went on a cruise and with Mahir at work it was just me and the girls.  Yes, I packed it with fun and excitement, but that's what I like to do!  Friday, the hottest day of the summer, I left work early and met Mahir and the girls so that we could go wave to Grammy and Grampy from Castle Island as their ship sailed off into the Atlantic.  Leyla and Hannah wanted to play on the playground but it was just too hot for that.  Saturday we celebrated Mahir's birthday by going to the Stone Zoo and we had a wonderful time, fed the budgies, saw the koalas, went to the bird show, and then went out for some lunch and shopping.  Sunday was a relaxing day at the pool with the girls swimming and having a great time.  Monday the girls and I took the train into Boston, had lunch by the Aquarium, they played in the water on the Greenway, we picked up some sweets at Mike's Pastry, and after visiting my coworkers, the girls played in the Frog Pond and went on the carousel before heading home.  Tuesday Leyla had camp and then we had a playdate and made cookies!  Wednesday we just hung out in the morning, did some errands, and visited Daddy's work and finished the evening out at dinner.  Thursday we did some more hanging out, Hannah and I went to Target while Leyla was at camp, and then we had lunch and went to the library since it was raining.  Finally, Friday we picked up Grammy and Grampy and had a relaxing afternoon. 

The girls definitely challenged me.  They are both in an "irritate your sibling" period and so that tends to leave me yelling or getting frustrated with them.  But, what can you do?  I wouldn't have it any other way and I definitely enjoyed my time off with them and I'm counting the days until I can spend more time with them more than just the evenings and weekends I already do.  XOXOXO

They are challenging me

I love my girls more than life itself, but they are getting to the point that they are seriously challenging me on a daily basis.  I want to be the perfect mother even though perfection really isn't as good as it looks AND each moment I strive to be the perfect mother I fail more and more miserably.  I don't want to yell, but then Leyla lays on top of Hannah or whirls her around too fast and then makes Hannah cry...or Hannah takes something of Leyla's and then Leyla grabs it back from her and then Hannah hits Leyla and then Leyla hits Hannah...it is a vicious cycle and I just feel like I can't get out of it some days!  The days I wish I were a stay at home mom become the I am so glad I'm not because I'd literally be yelling at them all day or then the thoughts are well if I were a stay at home mom maybe they wouldn't be like this and then I get all upset about not being a stay at home mom.  Add on top of it that I'm still breastfeeding Hannah - yes, I am breastfeeding an almost 32 month old - go ahead and judge me...really, I dare you.  But I have only been feeding her twice a day for the last year or so and I just gave up the before bed one last Monday.  I'll give up the morning one soon, but that's my decision and mine alone.  Is that the reason she's not potty training?  I doubt it, but some people want to tell me that's the reason.  I'm honestly kind of sick of other people telling me their opinions about how I should raise my children.  I worked darn hard to get where I am with Leyla and Hannah and so I think I have the right to raise them the way I see fit.  Anyway, I digress...Hannah's stubborn...STUBBORN!  She knows how to use the potty...she chooses not to.  That's the Wight in her and that's the Akarsu in her...double stubborness!  She'll do it when she wants to, even if it is already 6 months after her sister was fully trained...

On another note, I'm pretty excited because next week is my staycation...an entire 9 days starting at 2:30 on Friday afternoon where I get to be with my girls...yes, even after all I described above I'm very excited about it.  I'm not going to clean except while they're napping or hanging out with Daddy in the afternoon and I'm going to enjoy every single second...good or bad...because these moments are so few and far between...I will enjoy them...I'll enjoy them running around the kitchen with only their hoody towels on like they did last night after their bath calling themselves super heroes...and I'll enjoy the mess that they leave because looking at an empty of toys family room after they went to bed last night wasn't so fun...and maybe, just maybe, they'll learn something from me and I'll learn something from them along the way...I hope for me it's more patience.  

I love you Leyla and Hannah...I love kissing you and covering you back up every morning before I go to work...I love you running to me at the train station or when I pick you up at daycare or when I get home from work or anywhere...I love sitting and watching Sophia with you or really anything at all as long as we're snuggling up together...I love that you call me on the phone and ask me to sing you a song and ready you a story before bed...and I wish I did that more...and I promise you that I will...because I know there will be a time where you won't want me to and I'll look back and wish that I did.