I want to be a kid again...

I want to be a little kid again...well, maybe not since I was teased way too much as a child and a teenager (and sometimes even as an adult) but, I digress...I want to be able to be in awe of the little things again...the little things that we as adults just don't appreciate the way we should...what brought this thought to mind is watching as Leyla's eyes lit up as Joe, my train conductor, handed her a little ticket scrap, which he punched just for her as she waited for me to get off the train last Wednesday...and the way Hannah's eyes light up when she sees her monkey (Phil) or when she is holding her play spatula from the girls' kitchen set and she suddenly breaks out in her scrinchy smile that she is so famous for.  So, right now I am going to think of the little things that have made today (OK, yesterday since I wrote this Sunday but am posting this Monday) so wonderful and in no particular order they are:

• The little girl sound asleep still eating in my lap as I write this
• The other little girl who just called out "Daddy" through the monitor having just woken up from her nap
• Leyla asking me to read to her earlier and showing me her picture she titled "The Woods"
• Hannah reaching out to me when I walk away for just a moment

Really, now that I think about it these are not little things...they are the big things I am going to long for years from now.  I love you Leyla. I love you Hannah.

Great Expectations

I have all these expectations that I place upon myself.  Expectations on how I will parent, how I will spend my weekend, things I will accomplish and it's really getting to be too much.  So, today, on this Friday, instead of making a list of things that need to get done this weekend that I will lose and never complete, I'm not making a list.  Instead, my expectations for myself will be that which I can be successful at completing...I will spend the weekend with my girls and spend as much quality time as I possibly can with them...we will go to the pool, we will go for a walk, we will go to a party, and if those are the only things that we do this weekend I will be OK with it.  Please excuse the mess of my house...please excuse my disorganization...please excuse the fact that I can't post pictures on facebook for all to see in a timely manner...please excuse whatever it is that I can't get done...I'm busy making memories that will last a lifetime. 

A little girl and her bear...

I have had this blog for several months now.  I want so badly to be able to record the girls lives and share my thoughts and feelings but life happens and you run out of time so I need to start making more time to do this.  Leyla and Hannah are my world and so I found the title of this blog to be quite appropriate.  And now for my first real blog! 

Leyla loves her bear.  I’m not exactly sure how Bear (that is her name!) was chosen to be her “lovey” (as the Pajanimals sing about on their DVD we watch quite often) but one day when she was probably around 8 months old she took to Bear, who had been around since she was born, and that was it.  I definitely would have preferred for her to have chosen the little blanket lamb or something much more washable!  The instructions for Bear are to surface clean as she is a musical bear who has legs that are pulled down and go up with the music (the lullaby song).  Bear has been taken pretty much everywhere, funny though not to Aunt Pat’s as she has a special Bear that lives there!  Leyla loves to hold Bear’s hand up to her face while she watches TV, sleeps, or just when she needs to be comforted – I think doing this relaxes her in a way nothing else can and as Val has been my “lovey” since 1^st grade I know the feeling.  What amazes me about Leyla and Bear is that Leyla is quite OCD.  Things need to be perfect and just so with her almost at all times.  But Bear, well, now at almost 2 years of being Leyla’s lovey, she has been washed in the washing machine (post stomach bug at the strike of midnight New Years this year) despite the “surface wash only” directions, she has been opened and closed several times by Daddy and Grammy to get the mechanisms working again, and now her legs hang low and she does not play music much at all.  But Leyla LOVES HER just the way she is, barely any pink left in her, legs hanging low and unable to play music…it doesn’t matter to Leyla because Bear is her true love.  I look at Leyla and her love of Bear and see that she is already a Mommy…she loves her Bear unconditionally no matter what…just like I love my Leyla and my Hannah unconditionally and will always no matter what…they are perfect to me and always will be. 

Bear with Leyla at her 18 month photos - June 2010

Bear out trick or treating with Leyla - October 2010

Bear with Leyla at her 2 year photos - November 2010