A reader...and something else...

Last night, on January 14, 2015, Leyla read her first book.  She sat at the table while I was doing dishes and read Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs & Ham with Grammy. Sure, there were a couple of challenging words, but here we go - she's off and running with reading. I can't believe we've reached this point - 4 teeth gone, 2.5 grown back in so far...a kindergartener who is one of her teacher's favorite students and is an amazing student...and now a reader! I remember being pregnant with her and now here she is growing and flourishing. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about people and how individuals treat you...I'm really at a loss for how people can say things and commit to things and how they can walk away from commitments without a care in the world...it's happened too many times I can't even count...and I'd truly like to hope that my children don't have to witness this as much in their lives as I already have. When I deal with people and situations I'm of the belief that you should treat people the way you'd want to be treated and going even further, the way you'd want your daughter, son, mother, father, spouse, etc. to be treated. That's the way I've lived my life and I will continue to do so. I can only hope that one day I won't have to experience people who commit themselves to me and something in my life and not have them break that commitment. 

I'm grateful for my family and friends and my beautiful daughters, who though they all make me crazy sometimes, they make me very happy and proud. 

Thankful

It's that time of year where Facebook explodes with daily thankful posts. I've done this in the past and then gotten upset with myself when I don't post what I'm thankful that day, which I feel is not the point of the activity. I feel like Facebook and Pinterest and all these things have set mothers up to feel like we're not living up to the lives we should be living. So, instead of posting on Facebook this year what I'm thankful for each day, I'm going to use this post to tell my couple of readers what I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for those who do read my blog - I'm not the greatest writer and I don't blog very often, but I'm thankful for those of you who follow me.

I'm thankful for my family who supports me in everything I do - my parents, who are my rocks, who raised me to be a pretty good person, and support my husband, girls, and I more than I could ever imagine - Mahir, who has loved me unconditionally since the moment we met and gave up so much to be here with me - Leyla and Hannah, who have loved me unconditionally from the moment they were born and can make me feel like the most important person in the world to them and drive me crazy all in one moment. You are my world and I can only hope that each day of the rest of my life I can be a better daughter, wife, and mother to the 5 of you. 

I'm thankful for my true friends - the ones who have stood by me through thick and thin - the ones who don't leave because I don't have a chance to email or call or drop by in days, weeks, months, etc.

I'm thankful for my job and my boss and all those who challenge me day in and day out to be a better worker. 

I'm thankful for my amazing godparents, who have been adoptive godparents to my husband and girls from the moment they entered my life, for my church family, and our amazing priest who is also my friend.

I'm thankful for the roof over my head, for my health despite the extra weight I carry, for iced tea, for sunrises and sunsets, for my Dad's camp and the amazing summer we had there and so many more to come, for fires in the wood stove, and all the little things and the big things that make life what it is.

I'm thankful.

Time & the little things

First of all, I can't believe I haven't blogged in 5 months.  Yes, I'm crazy busy, but this blog is important to me and I'd like to be able to make the time to post.  The last time I blogged I had a preschooler...now I'm a month away from sending Leyla to kindergarten and Hannah to preschool.  Where did time go?  When did they grow up and no longer look like those little babies that are in the photo of the front of my blog?  Yes, time flies, and there's nothing I can do about it.  I'm trying very hard to enjoy every second.  Some days are better than others as any fellow Mom will understand.  We're having a great summer, spending some time each weekend down at "Camp David" (that's for another blog post) and soaking up as much time as possible before back to school. 

Part of my intention in creating my blog at the beginning was to teach my girls some things and leave them words of wisdom for down the road.  I have lots of thoughts and never get them down in this blog but this morning's event was very important for me to document.  We all know that the little things are important and I hope that Leyla and Hannah learn this as well.  As society seems to become more and more selfish and people walk around with their noses in their phones, I'd like to teach the girls that the little things matter and that they need to look up and look around them.  Dennis, the Boston Herald man, stands across from South Station selling his newspapers.  He always greets me and my fellow commuters as we come across the street and puts a smile on our faces each morning (EARLY - 6:30 AM!).  Recently he started using sidewalk chalk and writing words of wisdom, including my favorite giving us "warriors", as he calls us, encouragement as we begin our day.  I don't know if he realizes how important his notes are to me and my day.  So, the other day I was at the Dollar Tree and I bought a box of chalk to give him.  I forgot it on Monday and again Tuesday and so I brought it today.  You would have thought I had given him the world when I held up that box of chalk.  He jumped up and down like an excited kid and gave me a hug.  He was so appreciative of a box that cost me $1.  I made his day and he definitely made my day and I'm sure will continue to make my days going forward as I see the words, pictures, and inspiration he provides us.  I am grateful for the little things that truly are big things.  I challenge everyone to do something little each day because it really could be a big thing to someone.  And I challenge my girls to try and live life with the little things being just as important as the big things. 

I love you Leyla and Hannah.  You are my world.

Thank you

There is a board on Facebook that I belong to. It annoys me and I learn things from it, both at the same time. As the majority of those who read this know, I am not a stay at home mom. Yes, I would like to be, but I'm not. Anyway, a topic of thank you notes has come up on the blog, and so much of me wants to fire back a huge response to the question, but I was very simple and direct I thought. I definitely believe in thank you notes - when I receive them I get happy and I appreciate the thought that individual has put into them - most of the time. The rest of the time it just reminds me of the guilt I feel for not having thank you notes from the girls birthday party done. I don't have any excuse other than I'm constantly out straight and don't have a moment to breathe, and Leyla and I are never really in a place where we can do them together - that and 3.5 months later, are we just going to look stupid sending them?! Some of the time when I receive a thank you note I get angry - angry that the people that I get them from have the time that I don't - that within 2.5 seconds of the birthday party a thank you note is in the mail. I'm going to do thank you notes for the girls birthday presents and Christmas presents, and hopefully this week, so if you get one from me, please don't make me feel stupid for sending it so late. And for those who I may have never sent a thank you note to over the years, I'm so grateful for everything you have given me, Mahir, and our girls over the years. So unbelievably grateful, and my lack of a thank you note at times shouldn't make you think I'm not grateful. 

Bedtime

Bedtime at our house is chaotic...bedtime at our house is truly an unpredictable event...and yes, we bring it upon ourselves!  Mahir and I try to swap off on bedtime that way if we have time to read a story it's Turkish one night and English the next.  But, I'm going to sit here and admit, I don't remember the last time that we read snuggled up in bed.  It makes me sad BUT then again I know that we're doing other things that are important.  The girls get read to by Grammy, Grampy, Miss Becky, Miss Linda, etc.  Instead, I do different things with them that I think they'll also remember.  Time flies when we get home from work between 5 and 5:30 and next thing you know it's 8 PM!  Time to get clothes picked from tomorrow in a dire attempt at making mornings less crazy for Grammy and Grampy - and then into pajamas and onto the couch for snuggle time.  New to the routine is one episode of Full House - a show that really was a part of my childhood and one that the girls enjoy as well.  Then ATTEMPT to get upstairs and do all the teeth brushing, potty, tucking in, etc.  Some night we read, some nights we sing songs, and some nights we do none of that and say oh my goodness, it's already 9:30!  Don't judge - I'm a working Mom that if I didn't keep my kids up with me until just before my own bedtime I'd never see them and neither would Mahir.  In any case, the point of my blog today is about something that made me really proud last night.  In addition to Mahir and I taking turns putting them to bed, the girls take turns who gets to brush their teeth first.  It's always a competition, some nights better than others...last night it was Leyla's turn.  Hannah rushed up in front of her and started pushing her buttons.  I removed Hannah from the stool and proceeded to take care of Leyla - Hannah disappeared to go hide under a bed someone upset with me.  So I told her that if she didn't come out I'd be going downstairs.  She didn't so I went downstairs - or so she thought - I only hid a couple stairs down.  While I hated to hear Hannah cry she does have to learn to do what Mommy asks her to.  I hear Leyla get out of bed and start comforting Hannah and giving her this whole pep talk and everything that Hannah should say to me to have me come back upstairs "say you're sorry and that you won't do it again" all with this very soft and comforting tone.  If I learned anything last night it's that my girls will have each other's backs no matter what - yeah, I wish I had a sister but that can't be changed and I'm so lucky to have what I do have - but I also felt like I had done something right.  In all the yelling and all the frustrating times, I've done something right that makes Leyla a kind soul that takes care of her little sister more often than not. 

Expecting too much?

It's been quite awhile since I blogged...been crazy busy but yet have so much to talk about.  But I'll start with today.  I definitely feel like I expect too much of my family at times.  I took today off and planned this great day with Mahir, the girls, and my parents, going to see Santa at Bass Pro Shops, head to the outlets, have a late lunch, and end the day looking at the gorgeous light display at LaSalette Shrine.  Well, it wasn't as amazing as I imagined, with everyone smiling the whole time and everyone having a great time.  We had a great time but it was filled with drama and someone not being happy at least one part of the day (more times for the little ones).  I then wonder, why do I plan these outings?  Is this how it's going to be when we go to Disney next year?  Who am I trying to make memories for - me or the girls?  I have to stop expecting so much out of things and just try to sit back and enjoy them as they happen.  We drove away from LaSalette freezing and tired and I said to everyone "well, I hope everyone had a fun day" and Leyla and Hannah both belted out "It was awesome!"...so, despite the meltdowns and frustrating times, that's what it comes down to...that Leyla and Hannah had an awesome time with their grandparents and parents despite all the things that in my mind went wrong. 

I hope to get back before Christmas to write some more but I have too many things that I've put on my plate...when am I going to learn to just let go of the things that really don't matter?  Probably not this year!  I'm a work in progress I guess...but one thing's for certain, I love my girls more than anything and that's why I try every day. 

Staycation...

I am just finishing an amazing staycation just me and the girls (and Mahir when he wasn't at work).  It was wonderful and I hate to not be able to be with them more.  Grammy and Grampy went on a cruise and with Mahir at work it was just me and the girls.  Yes, I packed it with fun and excitement, but that's what I like to do!  Friday, the hottest day of the summer, I left work early and met Mahir and the girls so that we could go wave to Grammy and Grampy from Castle Island as their ship sailed off into the Atlantic.  Leyla and Hannah wanted to play on the playground but it was just too hot for that.  Saturday we celebrated Mahir's birthday by going to the Stone Zoo and we had a wonderful time, fed the budgies, saw the koalas, went to the bird show, and then went out for some lunch and shopping.  Sunday was a relaxing day at the pool with the girls swimming and having a great time.  Monday the girls and I took the train into Boston, had lunch by the Aquarium, they played in the water on the Greenway, we picked up some sweets at Mike's Pastry, and after visiting my coworkers, the girls played in the Frog Pond and went on the carousel before heading home.  Tuesday Leyla had camp and then we had a playdate and made cookies!  Wednesday we just hung out in the morning, did some errands, and visited Daddy's work and finished the evening out at dinner.  Thursday we did some more hanging out, Hannah and I went to Target while Leyla was at camp, and then we had lunch and went to the library since it was raining.  Finally, Friday we picked up Grammy and Grampy and had a relaxing afternoon. 

The girls definitely challenged me.  They are both in an "irritate your sibling" period and so that tends to leave me yelling or getting frustrated with them.  But, what can you do?  I wouldn't have it any other way and I definitely enjoyed my time off with them and I'm counting the days until I can spend more time with them more than just the evenings and weekends I already do.  XOXOXO