Working Mom

Today is a feel bad for myself day.  I know that I am oh so lucky to have the girls with either my parents or Aunt Pat every day and they're not in a big daycare and they aren't lugged on the train into the city at a ridiculously painful hour, but I still wish things could be a little different.  Today I feel it more because last night Mahir decided he would ask me if I could work part time at my job which is a definite no but it made me think and wonder if I could do it.  And then it made me wish I could do it.  Sure, I would LOVE to be at home with the girls, teaching them, playing with them, loving them, but is that what is best for all of us?  Deep down in my heart I know that it is not.  I KNOW that they are getting the social skills they need, they are developing bonds with Grammy, Grampy, Nan, Aunt Pat, and so many others by being children of working parents but it still hurts.  And today is one of those days.  Hannah is starting to clearly say "Hi Momma" and "I love you" and I hear it over the phone in the mornings and YEARN to be there to hug and kiss both her and her big sister.  They light up my world and I wouldn't give up those morning conversations for anything.  I do wish that I could be home but the question remains whether I would appreciate it as much as I appreciate those times I do have with them.  I'd like to say yes, but I'm not sure.  So now, I'm going to do what Mom says and "snap out of it" and realize that I do the best for my children and I will cherish every second I can be with them and try to be the strong mother and woman I want to teach them to be.