2012

2012 was a good year and a bad year.  Any year I have with my girls is a good year for sure.  I am completely and utterly blessed to have an amazing family, but most especially two little girls that make me so happy every day. 

Leyla, you've had a great year - I know that it's been hard in some senses with the reality that you have some sensory processing issues, but I'm so glad I caught it early so that you can go to Occupational Therapy and that we can make some changes on how we deal with things to make it easier for you.  I can't believe you started preschool this year - I know how much you're enjoying being with Anthony and how much you are learning and how much fun you are having.  I was so proud of you watching you sing "Away in a Manger" at our Church Pageant and for being Mary in your school's Christmas Program.  Who would have thought 4 years ago as Michelle and I were holding you and Anthony that you would end up best friends and playing Mary and "Jofis" (Joseph) together.  I'm sad that Anthony is moving and that you won't be able to see each other as often after preschool but I know that you will remain such amazing friends.  You are completely obsessed with Cinderella and although your Daddy wishes everything weren't Cinderella, I know he enjoys watching your excitement, for example, last night when we put your new Cinderella comforter on your bed.  I can't wait to take you to Disney and the Bibbity Bobbity Boutique in 18 months (August 2014!).  You amaze me everyday and I'm so proud of you.  I love you Leyla.

Hannah, 20 miles of bad road as Grammy calls you...you are a pistol!  You're very outgoing and always into things.  Your vocabulary is insane for only a 25 month old - I remember going to see Dr. Tai for your 2 year appointment and she asked about words and if you were able to string things together and suddenly, before I could answer, you said "I don't want to do that" and Dr. Tai said "nevermind"!  You definitely let us know what you want and what you don't want.  You are always so bright eyed and smiley and obsessed with the color orange, Phil the monkey, Caillou (so is your sister), Angelina Ballerina, and Minnie/Mickey Mouse.  I may be judged for this part, but I don't care...you're still nursing...Grammy says we need to go "cold turkey" but I just don't see you as the type to do that - you'll stop when you're ready and I'm not ready to force you to stop...not doing anyone harm so why should I care?  Thanks for being my cuddlebug and keeping me on my toes.  I can't wait to see what you and your sister have in store for me over the years.  I love you Hannah. 

2012 was a hard year with being very part time caregiver for Nan.  I am amazed by the care Mom provided her, right up until the last moment on December 8th.  Nan had a rough 5 months starting in July when she went to the hospital, then home, then back to the hospital, then rehab, then home for about 3 weeks and then back to the hospital and rehab, returning home in early November.  Thanks to hospice we were able to keep her home with us until the end, although it still was extremely difficult on all of us and it's going to take awhile to get into our new normal.  I'm so grateful for the time that Nan had with Leyla and Hannah.  She was told by her doctor in December of 2008 that she had 3 months.  Well, she surpassed that by over 3.5 years and ended up having 5 more great-grandchildren!  Sure, she made me mad every time she laughed when Leyla did something she shouldn't have and got angry when the girls were on her couch just being kids, but I wouldn't change that time for the world.  I hope she's up in heaven telling Pa all about the two little girls that rock my world and who he would have loved so much, just like he loved me. 

2013...I pray you're an amazing year. 

Same old...and new normal...

If anything has happened over the last several days in my mind it's that I don't care what gets done, well, at least not as much as I did before.  The poor babies that were killed in Connecticut make me treasure my girls and my time with them and the rest of the family even more. 

I feel like my blog has a pattern - not being able to get done what I expect myself to get done and not being able to do these things because I'm a working Mom who doesn't get to spend much time at home.  I'm hoping that I don't remain so boring with the same complaints and thoughts.  It's been a rough couple of months with lots of things going on, some of which I will talk about and some I won't.  We've been blessed to have Mom and Dad, especially Mom, be the caregivers for the girls since the end of September.  All I will say is that it wasn't a choice I wanted to make but I also didn't have a choice.  On top of that, since July Nan had been in and out of rehab, hospital, and back home.  Her congestive heart failure made it hard to breathe which started the pattern one July evening where she went to the hospital...until she came home and went back and then went to rehab twice between July and the end of October when she came home.  The day after veteran's day she started on hospice care and went peacefully to be with Pa in heaven on Saturday morning, December 8th.  We were blessed to have her with us for 4 years after the doctor in Florida gave her 3 months back in December of 2008.  But are we really surprised with the very strong Russian woman that Nan was?  No.  And I pray that I am as blessed as she was, to have family care for her and be with her all the time, to have had 6 great-grandchildren and live with 2 of them to watch them grow.  As much as it pissed me off when it happened, I will remember Nan for laughing when the girls did something they weren't supposed to do, and taking them all (including Shadow the cat) on rides with her "wheels" (rolling walker). 

We are settling into a new normal at home and though it's not easy and the girls are definitely testing the waters, we are hoping for a nice Christmas this year.  For someone who had the majority of the shopping done before Thanksgiving and the tree up the day after Thanksgiving, I haven't done well past that.  Things still on my to-do list on 12/18 are: Christmas cards, decorating the tree, putting the stockings up, and LOTS OF WRAPPING, nevermind the things I wanted to do like make reindeer on canvas with the girls footprints and Christmas lights on canvas with the girls fingerprints!  But I'm going to take Nate Berkus' advice from his blog to heart and "make time for movie night by the glow of white tree lights, hot chocolate and laughter by the fire and the happy satisfaction of knowing no store line for holiday presents kept you from being present for those you love".  Thanks Nate for the reminder of what's really important even though I know it, it's still nice to be reminded.  (Quote courtesy of: http://www.nateberkus.com/tis-the-season/)

My Best Family Life?

So I came across a blog (through pinterest looking for who knows what) and it's about "Living Your Best Family Life" and I don't think I am.  The questions the blogger asked are: Do you wish you had more time? What would you use it for? Would it make you a better parent or your family life more peaceful and cohesive? Are you living your BEST life together as a family?  So, here we go, let me answer:
1. Yes, OF COURSE I wish I had more time!  Doesn't everyone?!  Seriously, name one person in this world who wishes they didn't have more time!
2. I would use it for SO MANY THINGS - play with Leyla and Hannah and kiss them and hug them and tell them how much I love them and show them how much I love them.  Then there are the other things, that don't mean as much as those first things - getting TY notes done, cleaning my house, getting rid of all the clutter that drags me down, NOT doing laundry since I already spend most of my weekend doing that! 
3. Yes, I think it would make me a better parents and my family life more peaceful and cohesive because if I could just get out of the rut of clutter and things to do then I could focus more on the girls and I wouldn't feel so crazy and out of control and overwhelmed as I do right this moment.
4. No, we are NOT living our best life together as a family, but honestly, it's not all within our control.  It's not our control that we are a household of four generations, which makes things VERY difficult.  I love our house and I love the relationships that the girls are building with their grandparents and great grandmother, but it's not always roses. 

So, despite the fact that the questions make me feel even more overwhelmed, the blog itself does not, in fact it makes me feel more human and like I'm not alone (http://childhood101.com/2012/10/are-you-living-your-best-family-life/).  Christie says "I want to do one thing at a time and be present in that moment." and boy do I agree.  I want the time to slow down and not look over and see that my babies are now a toddler and a preschooler...I want those baby moments back (and NO I'm not having more - I'm SO unbelievably happy with my 2 beautiful girls who keep me on my toes ALL THE TIME).  But, instead I need to stop looking back analyzing what I could have done or should have done differently and just stand and look forward, get rid of all that holds me back from being the best mother I can be.  Sure, each day I do the best I can, but that still doesn't mean that I'm living the best family life.  There is always room for improvement and I'm ready to improve.  I'm not going to wait for New Years to try to become a better Mom and a better Wife and a better Daughter...I'm going to start right now...I'm just not sure right now how to start...

Has it really been 2 months?!

I am amazed that it has been two months since I've blogged.  I mean, I never considered that I'd be a crazy blogger that blogged every day, but I at least wanted to blog once a week and yeah, I've never been able to do that.  Maybe I need to set a calendar reminder to do it!  Maybe then I'll get to it - and...maybe not!  I came across this blog today and I had to quote her so that not only could I find this great piece of inspiration in the future but also so that I could share it with my friends and other Mom's like me.  I was on the Lazy Saturdays blog (http://www.lazy-saturdays.com/page/2/) and saw this snippet of a post and my reaction was "WOW - she has it exactly on the nose"! 

"Damn the rules. Do you know what makes a good mother? Loving our children, teaching our children, hoping for our children, praying for our children. We know what our babies need. We know it whether they sleep in our beds, whether we work outside the home, whether they have memorized every episode of DORA! or have never seen a TV in their ever lovin’ lives. We are Mommas, for heaven’s sake. We bring life into this world and then raise it up to the light the best way we can. And it doesn’t have to be lonely. We do not have to divided by labels, methods and philosophies.  We are not defined by the way we diaper or discipline.  What if for just a moment, we all acknowledged the grandness of this thing we are a part of, this blessed, God given role? What if we held each others hands and said, “Isn’t it heartbreaking, bright, boring, beautiful, tear-out-your-hair frustrating, and just so magical it hurts?” What if we loved each others children, tantrums and all, because they are just learning and aren’t we all and isn’t it just so hard sometimes? What if we decided that we were all doing just fine, every last one of us? What if, at the end of each day, we realized we had done our best and that was enough?"

That is all for today...hopefully I'll be back sooner than two months from now!

I really don't like the beach…

…it's just not my favorite place. I don't like the taste of salt water on my lips or getting it my eyes when getting splashed by a wave or going under water…I'm much more of a pool person. Then there's the issue of sand in every nook, cranny, crevice, etc. I just don't like it. Well, yesterday made me like it a little more than I ever have…may a lot more…because of the girls. There was just something great about holding them in the water and having the waves splash up on us and then go plunk down on the beach and play with the sand toys and build castles and knock them down. There was a lot of joy in yesterday and my opinion of the beach is a little better than it used to be. I still don't like salt water on my lips and in my eyes though. I'm not sure Hannah did either since every time a wave hit she screamed as if she didn't like it (meanwhile Leyla was gleefully shrieking so obviously she loved it!). Funny that things you really don't like turn out to be things you don't mind when your kids are there :-)

June...and other thoughts...

My goodness, where did the month of June go?!  It feels like just last weekend we were in New Hampshire at Storyland on the rainiest day of the year (of course, because that's how Mahir and I like to do vacations!!!!).  I'm not sure if I posted about that but we had a great time despite the rain and I can't wait to go back next year!  Mahir's mother arrived to meet Hannah and spend 9 weeks with us last Wednesday. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about my favorite times of the day.  I'm not sure why but that's just where my thoughts have been.  With Hannah, my favorite parts are around 5 AM when I feed her before going to work.  For those of you who are going to make Time magazine comments, please refrain!  It's a beautiful bonding time together and I'm going to miss it when she does stop getting up.  Then again after work, which is less relaxing, and then before bed, which is wonderful as she ends up falling asleep and Daddy then carries her off to bed.  Hannah's a pistol and keeps us on our toes and definitely keeps me laughing and smiling at her antics.  Last night at dinner she wiped her ketchup hands all over the wall.  Mahir cringed and I laughed and enjoyed it because I know I will miss it when she's older and not doing that.  Leyla is the complete opposite of her sister, hates messy hands, hates food in her lap, etc.  My favorite moments with Leyla are when she calls me at work in the morning and gives me a rundown of what's happened so far that day, when I see her at the train station getting a ticket from Joe and then waving to all the conductors, and when we get to sing songs before bed and the rare times we get to watch and sing with Pajanimals.  I'm not really sure where I'm going with this blog today except to let the girls know how much I love them and how much I love their differences and their similarities and how much they love each other.  I'm blessed beyond measure.

Soapbox...

So, I have to say I came across a blog that annoys me. The site has a Facebook page that also bothers me. I am not one to name names so I'm not going to tell you what blog it is, but I did notice at least one of my friends "likes" the page. In any case, I saw a status that said "Filling out a million camp forms is annoying, but not half as annoying as having a kid up your ass all summer...pass me that pen." Now, I'm going to go back to a status that I posted about a week or so ago that didn't draw wonderful responses because it appeared that I was thinking being a teacher was all roses, which I know for a fact isn't (please remember I am the daughter of a retired teacher) and that it was coming to the time of year that I really disliked all the facebook posts about my teacher friends having the summer off and being able to spend time with the kids and such, because I don't. Yes, I made the choice to work in a field other than a teacher that would give me an unbelievable amount of time off a year compared to what I have now and no, there's no possible way of being a stay at home Mom like I would like to (even a part time SAHM would be nice). In any case, that's not what I'm blogging about. I don't think my status was offending - it was just a statement that it was coming to a time of year that makes me sad because I don't get the opportunities to be with my girls as much as I'd like. But this particular status that I just pasted above was very offending to me. And the other blogs on that page that use profanities and yell at their kids and say that life isn't fair. Sure, life isn't fair, but you know what, life is so much better BECAUSE I am a parent and because of my girls. The individual on this blog that complains about her kids should live one day like all the people in the world who want children and wouldn't bitch and moan about all the annoying or bad moments of being a parent. I love my children…I want to spend time with my children…and it makes me absolutely crazy when I see parents writing nastiness about their children, how spending time with their children is such a chore, and how much of a pain they are. I am definitely not a perfect parent and yes, I have moments when I want to sit in the bathroom in peace, but in 10 years, in 15 years, I'm going to miss this. So, bring on the whining, crying, laughter, smiles, and every other thing that brings me joy and aggravation every day that being a mother to my girls does. I'm going to go home tonight, hug them, and thank God for the gift that their lives brings to my life.

First family vacation

Well we survived our first family vacation. No, we have never been anywhere with the girls. Yes, we went to Turkey with Leyla but she was so little (6 months old) and it was visiting family that I don't really consider that a family vacation. This past weekend, to celebrate my 32nd birthday, we went to Storyland! As with many of the trips I have taken with Mahir over the years, it was scheduled to rain (flashback to 2004 when we honeymooned on Nantucket in the remnants of a hurricane!), so we packed our raincoats, umbrellas, extra towels, and headed out! Amazingly we made it out of the house with a full car by 10:15 when I planned for 10:00 - not bad! We stopped at Fuddruckers on the way north in Reading and had a great time there watching the trapeze school and the water light show that happens in that Jordan's Furniture (never been there before). Then we headed north and made it to Storyland just before 3 PM. We then had an amazing 2 hours visiting Cinderella's Castle where Leyla hugged and hugged and hugged Cinderella and didn't want to let go. It was the most precious thing I've ever seen! Hannah, of course at her age, didn't want anything to do with Cinderella or sitting on her throne! Then we went on a bunch of rides (when I say "we" I mean Mahir and Leyla and a couple of them Hannah joined them). Apparently Mahir has his roller coaster/ride buddy in Leyla and I am guessing Hannah will be the same way since she couldn't get enough of the "shoe" ride where they go around and around and up and down! We fell victim to the tourist trap of buying the picture at the Bamboo Chutes of Mahir and Leyla's faces as they were headed down the flume. Priceless picture I have to tell you. Both that and the picture of Leyla with Cinderella will be posted to Facebook hopefully this week but you know me and posting pictures, so it could be next year! I'm glad we had Friday afternoon at the park because it truly made the fact that we got soaked during our 5 hours in the park the next day worth it. And the smiles on the girls faces despite being wet and cold was also worth it! I definitely learned a lot from this vacation and will do things different next time and do other things the same. The time wasn't perfect as I had planned but it definitely was more than I imagined! I can't wait to go back!

The things they get into...

First of all, I have to say that "baby proofing" has been done along the way for sure in our house.  Leyla was into next to NOTHING that Hannah has been into so covering the plugs wasn't needed in all rooms until Hannah came along and we have elastics around each set of cabinets in the kitchen that as of now Hannah can't take off...YET!  The two of them together can cause more than double the trouble!  Last week they hung out in the bathroom.  I thought they were "just" washing their hands, but then it was quiet for a little too long.  Next thing I know they are brushing their teeth with just water (obviously, not a big deal) and then using the toothbrushes to wash the decorative shells on the counter, and getting into the other items in the drawers (thermometer, pieces from the infant toothbrush that the main piece was thrown out months ago, etc.).  So, now that drawer is cleaned out and the items have been moved to other locations!  I'm done with people saying that I need to play hard ball and not let them get away with these things (so if you were going to say it, please refrain).  They were both put in a time out and the bathroom door was closed so I didn't ignore it but honestly, after the three minutes, I was done with that (or so I thought...you will see why in a minute).  As a working mother I don't want to waste my precious time at home with them by yelling at them or putting them in timeout for everything, so I am TRYING to pick my battles and also realize what are mountains and what are molehills and that was a molehill in my opinion.  Fast forward to last night...Daddy is in the bathroom and finds something sticking out of the overflow section of the sink.  It is a leaf.  He pulls out that and more leaves come with it.  Turns out Leyla decided to strip the bamboo plant in the bathroom of the leaves that were on top of it and stuff the pieces into the overflow section of the sink.  When asked why she did it, she said "because I did"...great...and again, I said to myself as I put her to bed after we gave her the not stripping plants and not putting things in those holes lecture, "it's a good thing you're cute and that some day I'm going to miss all of this chaos".  Also, during this time Hannah was selecting her clothes for today which included a pajama top, two pairs of pants, and a couple shirts...she's definitely one not to let out of my sight!  Next thing on my list WAS the zoo tomorrow, but just my luck it is supposed to POUR all day and unfortunately with the need to schedule events like this so that I'm off work and have the library pass (I refuse to pay top dollar when I can get a library pass) there is always the chance for rain.  So, tomorrow may be just a whatever day but I know that will be really nice too.  I love you Leyla!  I love you Hannah! 

I went shoe shopping at lunch!

Overnight it seems, Miss Hannah Banana has grown out of her size 3 sneakers.  Why don't I remember this occuring with Leyla?  What's even more strange in my mind is that there is not a size 4 shoe to be found in our house!  Did Leyla skip that size completely?!  I mean, I have a huge bag of size 5s, but no 4s.  So, I went shopping for shoes today at lunch.  I had a nice time but had to be good because there were so many cute shoes and I wanted to buy them all.  Instead I left with a pair of Abby Cadaby sneakers and a pair of cute gray and pink sandals I know she will look adorable in!  I can't wait for her to see them because on a daily basis she is so cute saying "shoes" when we tell her to go get her shoes and running to get whatever shoes she can find in the house, even if they are not hers!  And I got a really adorable pair of pink flip flops that I know Leyla will love to wear going for her swim lessons.  I'm not into buying something for Leyla every time I get something for Hannah, but I couldn't pass these up. 


On the topic of shoes, the other day Hannah was looking for Grampy.  Now, she has not been able (or willing most likely) to say "Grammy" or "Grampy" whereas those were two of Leyla's first words - although they were "Ree" (Grammy) and "Ricky" (Grampy).  In any case, Sunday I was doing laundry while Leyla was out at church with Grammy and Hannah goes over to Grampy's shoe drawer, picks out two shoes (different shoes - two right feet) and says "Bampy!" - so off we go to find "Bampy" and give him his "pair" of shoes!  Apparently she's quit not saying Grammy and Grampy's names and they are no "Bammy" and "Bampy"! 


When it comes to Hannah and shoes or clothes, she wouldn't care if she wore something too big, too small, or whatever I put on her.  Leyla on the other hand will flip out in less than .5 seconds if it's the SLIGHTEST bit too small, too big, too tight, too brown, too purple, too whatever!  Good luck to me when she gets older!  It's amazing how different two girls can be and yet how amazing they both are in their own special ways.  I love you Leyla!  I love you Hannah! 

Working Mom

Today is a feel bad for myself day.  I know that I am oh so lucky to have the girls with either my parents or Aunt Pat every day and they're not in a big daycare and they aren't lugged on the train into the city at a ridiculously painful hour, but I still wish things could be a little different.  Today I feel it more because last night Mahir decided he would ask me if I could work part time at my job which is a definite no but it made me think and wonder if I could do it.  And then it made me wish I could do it.  Sure, I would LOVE to be at home with the girls, teaching them, playing with them, loving them, but is that what is best for all of us?  Deep down in my heart I know that it is not.  I KNOW that they are getting the social skills they need, they are developing bonds with Grammy, Grampy, Nan, Aunt Pat, and so many others by being children of working parents but it still hurts.  And today is one of those days.  Hannah is starting to clearly say "Hi Momma" and "I love you" and I hear it over the phone in the mornings and YEARN to be there to hug and kiss both her and her big sister.  They light up my world and I wouldn't give up those morning conversations for anything.  I do wish that I could be home but the question remains whether I would appreciate it as much as I appreciate those times I do have with them.  I'd like to say yes, but I'm not sure.  So now, I'm going to do what Mom says and "snap out of it" and realize that I do the best for my children and I will cherish every second I can be with them and try to be the strong mother and woman I want to teach them to be. 

Much to be thankful for...

Do you ever have one of those days where you watch a disaster happening or read about all the tragedy that someone is facing and you can't stop watching it or reading about it? That happens with some of the blogs that I follow…one about an 18 month old that died of neuroblastoma while her mother was facing cancer herself…and the one about the amazing mother of three who lost her 31 year old husband when she was 6 months pregnant with their third child. My heart goes out to these women…these families…and it makes me feel so blessed. Is that wrong to feel blessed when you read of another's tragedy? Does that make me a bad person? I know I've blogged about this a little before but this time I'm going to tie it into something else I've been thinking about. I try so hard to look at the positive and try to look at all the little things and I think that I also have high expectations for myself and for the girls. There are days lately that I say to myself as I leave work, "today is going to be a good day with Leyla…I'm not going to get frustrated or angry with her…" and then when I get home she's stealing stuff from her sister or not answering my questions and I get frustrated. I know such is the life with a 3 year old and that all the good times outweigh the challenging times but it still makes me feel like an impatient person when I strive to be patient…until I'm in the moment and then I find it impossible. After reading today about the family that lost their father and husband I want to strive to live each day as if it were my last so that I never regret not doing something or saying something or being too hard on my girls and not living in the moment. Of course, it's just another thing for me to strive for that I may not get perfect but I will try. Today I also want to talk about the little things. I wish that I had more time to write down all the little things, that, as the saying goes, really are big things. And here's my list for what I can think of here and now:

• the way Leyla smiles at me and snuggles in occasionally (she is not the snuggler she used to be back when she was a baby so the very few times she does are BIG)
• the way Hannah pats you on the back and gives such amazing hugs
• the way when I go to put Hannah back to bed after feeding her in the morning she holds so tight to me even though she's fast asleep and doesn't want to let go as I lay her down (and I REALLY don't want to let go)
• the way Leyla looks sitting in her bed with books surrounding her always and the flashlight on reading each night before bed (she is so going to be me in that respect - I was always hiding books and reading under the covers or anywhere really!)
• the mornings that we are home that the girls end up snuggled in or playing in bed with us
• the way Leyla surrounds herself with her "guys" (Bear, New Bear, Pinkie the penguin, her two pillow pets, Dina, her doggie pillow, and the heart pillow) while watching TV so much so that she takes up half the couch!
• how vocal Hannah is these days saying such things as mama, daddy, baba (daddy in Turkish), sit, milk, love you, no, and of course Leyla!

I have much to be grateful and I know that most days I do the best I can but I also know I have room for improvement and so that is what I'm going to do, a little at a time, one day at a time, praying for patience every day!

OK, so, yes I just said I'm glad it's March, but...

...despite all of the craziness and sickness that went through in February there are things that I am grateful for that occurred in February:

• Hannah has so many words in her vocabulary now including Leyla, Elmo, I love you, milk, sit, Aunt Pat, and so many more - she is also such a pistol and keeps me on my toes but in so many fun ways - I can't believe how fast she's growing!
• Leyla has been writing the letters of her name and is doing fantastic learning Turkish and although she fights Daddy when he asks her to speak Turkish I know that she understands what he is saying to her which is awesome!  She has been signed up for preschool and although I'm not ready for that mentally I know it's going to be great for her! 
• We had some awesome playdates! 
• Last night, to finish out the month on a good note Leyla, Hannah, and I went outside and played in the snow that had landed on our lawn - we had a great time and I wouldn't change those moments for anything! 

The good always outweighs the bad so I don't want any of my readers to think I'm not grateful for all the good in my life because I am over the moon about all the ways I am blessed. 

Thank GOD it's March!

February stunk - that's it in a nut shell.  February started off with Mahir away in Turkey visiting his family so I was alone, but not really thanks to my awesome parents, and we were short staffed in the office, so it was a challenging month.  Not only was it a challenge with those two things but on the 18th while we were having a great time with friends and their girls Hannah decided to throw up all over me.  Thus began the week from hell!  Saturday night Hannah got the stomach bug and was sick through the night and into Sunday.  Monday, the holiday, my Mom decided to cut an onion a "new and improved way" and ended up slicing through her thumb and so I took her to the ER.  While in the ER I wasn't feeling so great but attributed it to the migraine that had come on suddenly a couple hours earlier.  Yeah, it wasn't...before we left the ER I got sick and poor Mom had to drive home with her thumb in the air - way to go me being a support to her!!!!  That night Leyla threw up.  Yay!  Tuesday Hannah decided that even though she hadn't nursed during the day in quite awhile that she needed to, which was fun for this individual who hadn't had much of anything to eat or drink since I was still sick.  But, we did it.  And then Mahir took her to the doctor only to find out she had an ear infection.  Awesome, yay for antibiotics that taste nasty and are impossible to get in.  Mahir didn't feel so great on Tuesday but never ended up getting anything.  The only one in the house who didn't get something because Nan, on her 91st birthday, got sick, followed by Mom and Dad, although he says it's his Meniere's that caused his.  In any case, the Wight-Akarsu-Butterfield crazy household got the norovirus and hung on to it for that awesome 7 days.  To top it all off poor Hannah went back to the doctor on Friday and her beginning ear infection was a full blown ear infection and the antibiotics had done NOTHING for her.  Thankfully everything is better now and despite the head cold I have now I am thankful for better antibiotics that have kicked Hannah's ear infection's butt and that everyone is getting back to normal.  I do have to say that although being sick pre-children was wonderful (do you remember that - it was when you could sleep all day, lay on the couch watching TV and movies, order take out, and just DO NOTHING), being sick post-children is challenging but rewarding at the same time.  I thought about it as I lay in bed with two children on me on that Wednesday morning and when I wished that the girls felt better I also realized that if they had been better I would've been at work and not getting to snuggle with them.  I don't like them being sick but I wouldn't trade that snuggle time for anything! 

The end of an era & start of a new year/new tradition

For 13 days I have been meaning to write this blog.  13 days ago I would have hosted what I believe was my 13th New Years Eve gathering.  And I didn't.  I thought I would have been sad but I really wasn't - I think I was last year - being hormonal and everything from having had Hannah 6 weeks earlier but I felt fabulous this year.  Last year (2010 going into 2011) I sent out the evite, heard back from about half the people that they weren't coming, one family that was coming, and never heard back from the rest.  I planned, bought things, cleaned, and I was ready for those people who don't RSVP but end up showing up as well as the family who was coming.  The family didn't end up coming in it's entirety but it was nice having Jaclyn there for a couple of hours.  And then reality stepped in as Leyla came down with the stomach bug and I was washing her up in the shower as the clock struck midnight.  Possibly the best part of my New Year's Eve was 2 AM on January 1, 2011 when Mahir and I snuggled on the couch - Leyla asleep on my lap and Hannah asleep on his shoulder.  It was awesome and as much as I loved my years of hanging out with my friends, playing games, having a big sleepover and having an amazing time, I loved the new tradition that was formed for me last year.  So, this year, I didn't plan a party and I didn't send out an evite and I didn't clean my house in preparation.  This year I sat at the dinner table with my girls, my husband, my parents, and my grandmother and we ate appetizers until we were stuffed.  Then we played Cootie with Leyla and watched TV and when we rang in 2012 I was again snuggled on the couch with my very wide awake 3 year old looking at my snoozing husband snuggling with Hannah who was asleep.  I can't imagine starting 2012 any differently.  This is my new normal and I LOVE IT!